I’d like to officially throw out some love for potatoes. Other then muffins, they’re probably the one thing I never give up on in life!
They’re also probably the main reason I’m chubby.
You know, cause who eats potatoes without a bit of oil.
In retrospect, blowing a kiss to the driver who was tailgating me may not have been the reaction he was wanting, but his face was definitely worth the excessive honking, I must say!
His finger seemed to have some sort of glitch,too. Weird.
You may want to get that get looked at, friend!
Maybe he just really needed a hug.
On a side note, the skies here have been quite lovely!
Have a wonderful day, Beautiful people!
Evidently I’ve been working on this list of sorts. So, without further delay.
The Chubby Life Sessions
This one probably isn’t the WORST, but it definitely holds some real weight. Yeah, I know. That was bad.
Anyway. This ones called the Big Bellied Boxer Roll. Happens to me most mornings as I’m trying to rid of the crease and wrinkle boxer problems you have once you get your pants on. Yeah, you’ve been there.
So, you’ve moved past that. You’re feeling confident, you’re starting to dance a little in celebration, then you spot it. The clouds start rolling in, the sweat is starting to form, and you promptly attempt to suck in your gut in hopes that will solve the issue. To no avail, it’s still staring you down in the mirror.
Yep, it happened again. The sheer weight and shape of your gut has caused the elastic band on your boxers to roll over and let out a faint squeak of failure.
The emotional stress you’re feeling at this point is reason enough to shed a tear, perhaps even workout. Or you can just go eat a muffin.
Yep, I’m eating a muffin.
The Big Bellied Muffin Lover.
I think I have entirely to much confidence when consuming bananas in public. It seems to freak people out.
Except for the dude who seemed to be on a very important call. I apologize, I should have never made eye contact. Poor dude started air laughing then snorted in an effort to breath. That’s my bad. Hope it wasn’t a phone interview.
First rule of banana consumption: Never make eye contact.
I think I just woke up snoring, there’s drool, my hairs NOT on point, and the potential butt crack show I just performed pretty much sums up the last two hours.
Yep, I fell asleep in the coffee shop again.
Least the coffee finally cooled down enough to drink.
Another succesful outing.
How on earth am I single.
Awkward moment #246 that became cherished memory #362
Today, I met Rosie. Rosie was an elderly woman of rather short stature who’s smile melted my heart and perfume brought tears to my eyes. It’s okay, Rosie. You’re openness and love for life made it all worth it!
I saw little Rosie in the book store while I was looking for a new journal, and before I had the chance to make eye contact and say hello, a frail but confident voice blurted out; “Get the blue one with the ribbon! It’s so dandy, like you!” I smiled, and quickly turned around borderline hugging that exact journal and blurted out’ “Yes! Fantastic taste, my lady!”
Rosie continued on to tell me that she was just simply too old for me, but her granddaughter was in the market! I quickly begin to hide behind the journal trying to figure out how I can break the news that I am without a doubt as gay as a gay man can be.
Before I could respond, she starts laughing and presumes to tell me that she also has grandsons. During a serious case of the gut giggles, I tackle Rosie with a hug and thank her for making my entire week. Well, no. I didn’t literally tackle her. Poor thing.
Anyway. Thank you Ma’am for being so open and humble in this world, it’s truly refreshing and beautiful!
For the poor girl at Sonic’s who saw me aggressively consuming my tots and fry sauce, please forgive me!
They’re basically the love of my life at this point. Not that I’d want to consume the actual love of my life. Face palm.
Yep, I’m going to be single forever.
Anyway, I’ll try to keep the faces and grunts to a minimum next time!